NOTE: I originally wrote this in 2014. Not much has changed since then, but since it’s been ten years, I decided it could use an update, so here’s the new & improved version.

Dear Restaurants,

I love you. Really I do. I’m not a picky guy. I’m certainly not a snob. I love a five-course meal at a five-star restaurant, but I also must confess a fondness for a “Snag Burger” at the bar down the street from my shop. I love a good Indian buffet, a medium-rare steak, authentic London fish and chips, and an authentic Inverness haggis with neeps & tatties. Basically, if the chef cares about how the food tastes, I’m probably going to enjoy it. And if your servers care about serving the customers, I’m probably going to enjoy being in your restaurant. I love eating out.

But we’ve really got to talk about your tea.

To many people, having the right wine to go with their dinner transforms a good meal into a great one. Coffee drinkers will greatly appreciate fresh-brewed coffee, and beer aficionados will be greatly disappointed it you offer nothing but bland “megabrews” like Bud and Coors.

Those of us that love our tea feel exactly the same way. I’ve had some wonderful meals in restaurants and gone home disappointed because I got some bitter, oversteeped Lipton tea from a teabag instead of the restaurant putting in just a wee bit of effort and providing a good cup.

I’m not a tea Nazi, telling you and your other patrons the one and only way to make a proper cup of tea. Most of what I’m asking for is a proper selection and giving us the option to steep it as we wish.

#1: Tell us (or show us) the options!

First, if your restaurant is even half a notch above fast food, you have more than one type of tea, right? It may be powdered sweepings from the factory floor in a Lipton teabag, but you’ll have a black tea, a green tea, something without caffeine, and either Earl Grey or Moroccan Mint. If you don’t offer at least those four, you’d might as well hang a sign that says, “Tea Drinkers Not Welcome.”

So let’s start with that. When we order a cup of hot tea, either ask what kind we want, or present us with a basket or box containing a selection to choose from. Don’t just bring out a cup of black tea and then let us find out later that you had other options.

#2: Hot water. Really hot water.

Next, don’t grab the water until you’re on the way to the table. If we’re ordering black tea (and that includes Earl Grey), then we want that water boiling, or darned close to it

If we’re drinking tea that requires cooler water, such as a green or white tea, then we’d really prefer to get the boiling water and let it cool down ourselves. You can always cool water that’s too hot just by waiting, but you can’t heat water that’s too cold when you’re sitting at a table in a restaurant.

And now, a big no-no. Don’t ever ever put the tea leaves (or tea bag) in the water before you bring it to us (see below). The only exception to this rule is if you run a tea shop and your waitstaff plans to monitor the entire steeping process for us, in which case you’ll be controlling the steep time as well.

#3: The tea meets the water at the table.

There are several reasons for this.

First, most serious tea drinkers have their own opinions on how long their tea should be steeped. I typically short-steep my black teas and drink them straight. My friend Angela steeps hers long and strong and adds milk. There’s no way to prepare a cup of tea that will make both of us happy. You have to let us do it ourselves.

That said, if you start the tea steeping in the kitchen, we have no idea how long the leaves have been in the water when it gets to our table. A glass carafe helps that, but if we don’t know the particular brand and style of tea you’re serving, it’s really hard to judge by the color.

Additionally, not all tea takes the same water temperature. If I’m drinking black tea, I’ll pour in that boiling water the second it gets to me. If I’m drinking green or white tea, I’m going to let the water cool a bit first. Boiling water makes green tea bitter.

#4: Give us something to do with used leaves or teabags.

Once our tea is steeped to our liking, we’re going to want to remove the leaves from the water or pour the water off of the leaves.

I’ve been in many restaurants that give me a cup of water and a teabag, but no saucer to put the bag on when I’m done steeping it. I really don’t want a soggy teabag on my dinner plate, and you probably don’t want it on the tablecloth or place mat. Even the nice places that bring me a pot of water with a strainer full of leaves and a cozy to keep the pot warm sometimes don’t provide a place to put that strainer. Oh, and this reminds me of rule five:

#5: Don’t just dump leaves loose in a pot with a spout strainer unless it’s a single-serving pot.

It’s frustrating to pour off a cup of tea and know that by the time I’m ready for the second cup, it will be oversteeped and nasty and there’s not a thing I can do about it.

#6: Don’t add anything to the tea.

It’s fine to ask if we want sweetener or milk or lemon, but for goodness sake don’t add it without asking. We’re all different, but for me and a lot of other Americans, serving me a cup of good tea with milk in it is like serving me a good steak with ketchup on it. See the theme here? Give us options instead of deciding for us.

#7: If you serve iced tea, brew it.

Iced tea is incredibly easy to make fresh (sweet tea can be another issue), so please don’t use the powdered stuff! Just brew a pitcher of tea, pour it over ice, and voilà! Real iced tea. And please, oh please, don’t pre-sweeten it or throw a lemon slice in it. Give us some sweetener options and serve the lemon on the side.

Those seven rules will cover the basics. All but the real tea snobs can make something acceptable to drink if you have a few choices (which need to include unflavored options—don’t give us only Earl Grey, mint, fruity stuff, and herbal stuff) and serve it properly. But if you’d like to upgrade the experience and really make us tea drinkers feel welcome, here are a few bonus tips:

BONUS TIP #1: Loose-leaf tea makes a big difference to tea afficionados.

I know it’s a lot more work having to scoop a spoonful of leaves into an infuser than it is to toss a teabag in a cup. I get that. But to a tea drinker, it matters. It’s like getting fresh sliced peaches instead of peaches from a can, or fresh-baked bread instead of a slice from the grocery store.

BONUS TIP #2: Make sure all of your servers can answer rudimentary questions about your tea selection.

Everyone who works there should know which of your teas have caffeine and which don’t. They should know the difference between green and black tea (and know that Moroccan Mint is green and Earl Grey is black). They should know the teas from the tisanes (herbals), and they should know which ones are organic and/or fair trade.

If you serve loose-leaf tea, as opposed to bagged dust, give the staff a bit more information, like origin and style. You want your server to be able to tell a customer whether that red wine is a Merlot or Zinfandel and whether it’s from Bordeaux or Napa Valley. Why shouldn’t they be able to say whether the black tea is a Darjeeling, a Ceylon, or a Keemun?

BONUS TIP #3: Give us a couple of upgraded options.

Offering a oolong, a white tea, or a pu-erh makes me feel like you really want me to enjoy the experience. I don’t even mind paying more for a Bai Hao or a Silver Needle. It’s like offering some really nice wines in addition to the everyday wines; or offering craft beer in addition to Bud Light. That tea can make a good meal a really memorable one.

Attitude is everything in the service industry. If you and your staff are proud of the food you serve, it shows. Steak lovers look for restaurants that take pride in their steaks. Tea lovers look for restaurants that take pride in their tea. Most of the time, we’re lucky to find a restaurant that will even put a bit of effort into their tea, much less take pride in it.

If you aren’t a tea expert, find one and ask for advice. Show that you’re trying, and that you take as much pride in your drinks as you do in your food. We will notice. You will turn us into regular customers. We’ll be happy and you’ll be happy. We all win.

While writing this, I was drinking Jasmine King, a jasmine silver needle white tea. The touch of woodiness in the tea blended beautifully with the heavenly aroma of the jasmine. I don’t drink a lot of white tea, but I’m getting hooked on this one.